21st Century Living!
It has been quite a while. Swamped does not even cut it honestly. But hey better now than never. Hope y'all are good?
Let's discuss. The term 'baby boy' seems to be used a lot these days. It has almost become a reflex for some. "Oh why are you doing so,so,so = I'm still a baby boy". I can honestly say the novelty has worn off this phrase.
I carried out a small experiment with some of my male friends based on the subject of relationships. I know this is quite a touchy subject for some and please note this blog is based on my own views and may not necessarily apply to everybody.
So I asked my friend if he was ready for a relationship (And I loved how candid he was with his response)
His response: Yes I am.
Me: So what's the problem. What's stopping you?
Response: It's hard you know. Settling with one person for the rest of your life and that's it. And the thought of so many other beautiful women out there.
I chose this particular response because most of the other responses I received were quite similar to this but just phrased differently.
I think some guys are actually scared of relationships or should I say committing in a relationship but they would rather not admit to it. Not entirely sure why.
'Baby boy' is now an umbrella 'phrase' being used by some for deterrence. Some use it to cover up their fear of settling down, some to justify care-free and reckless living, some to follow trend, some just for the plain fun of it believe it or not.
Some of you need to realize you are NOT going to live that 'baby boy' lifestyle forever. Unless you like the idea of living alone in your big mansion.
While you are living that 'baby boy' lifestyle in your youth (not that I'm advocating this way of living), don't forget to graft. Lay that foundation for your future and don't get carried away with the thought of having so many girls at your disposal with no ties included because the truth is some are actually out to destroy you and distract you from your future goals.
The reason why the first few paragraphs were mainly directed to the guys is because in comparison to ladies the male species are not wired to be 'in touch' with their emotion most of the time as it is deemed a sign of weakness/vulnerability. It takes them longer to get to this 'place' as opposed to females. They are seen to be 'problem solvers', wired to be logical. Any sign of 'being soft/emotional' can sometimes be perceived as weakness either by them or by their peer groups.
Example:
If a male gets an injury- as painful as it may be they are to suck it up and deal with it 'like a man'
Females now- common scratch and some of us won't let everyone hear the end of it.
Another classic example (based on a typical response):
How was your day?
Male: Yeah it was good.
Female: It was great. Ahh this girl at work did this blah de blah.....(you get my drift)
That being said you still have some males that are comfortable with expressing their emotions.
Some guys are not ready for relationships for different reasons. So ladies if a guy tells you he is not ready for a relationship, take his word for it. Literally!
If you really want him and decide you want to 'wait' then that's your choice but if you want to try and coerce him and see if he would change, it's going to be like plucking a fruit that is unripe. You only get met with a sour taste.
Honestly readiness in a relationship is not dependent on any factor but the individual themselves. If the mind is not ready then it is not ready. Relationships requires a lot of work so if you are not ready mentally and able to put in the work needed, it would be like squeezing water out of a rock.
Majority of things in life requires patience, so if you're trying to grow something be patient and wait for it to blossom and grow into something that you will enjoy in the long run and give you peace of mind. Don't force anything. And fellas don't lead a girl on if you have no intention of following through. Some ladies get easily attached you'd be shocked.
Although one thing I feel guys fail to realise is that girls are placed in a more awkward position when it comes to settling down and commitment. Guys can decide to get married even at age 40(if they so wish) but a woman dare not try this. Due to body-clock and all and aspects of having kids. Don't get me wrong guys equally get pressured too but it's still bearable. There's more pressure placed on females regarding the issue of settling down. I recently turned 24 and I can personally testify to getting bombarded left-right-centre with questions of marriage. But I'm not phased (yet lol).
Due to this some females tend to apply this pressure on their interest or someone they are seeing subconsciously and in return scaring the guy off even if they didn't mean to.
If someone has shown interest in you and vice versa but they are unable to commit to you or be in a relationship due to their sole focus being allocated to work or some other commitment, try your best to support them (if you're patient enough) while building your own dreams too. They are working hard to secure their future as should you. But NEVER neglect your dreams or your own needs while trying to put someone else's first. It doesn't work that way.
Side-note: Your interest in someone needs to be beyond physical and based on substance. Otherwise you got a house built on sand.
I know the concept of committing to one person may sound scary for some but the truth is if they are the right person for you, all that doubt will soon become nothing but a blur. It's just a matter of time and being ready.
Also bearing in mind that dream chasing IS a self-journey and could be very long and draining which is why sometimes we could do with a hand. A trusted hand and someone to remind you why you can't give up and help you keep going when you have off days. Self motivation can only do so much at some point.
Let's discuss. The term 'baby boy' seems to be used a lot these days. It has almost become a reflex for some. "Oh why are you doing so,so,so = I'm still a baby boy". I can honestly say the novelty has worn off this phrase.
I carried out a small experiment with some of my male friends based on the subject of relationships. I know this is quite a touchy subject for some and please note this blog is based on my own views and may not necessarily apply to everybody.
So I asked my friend if he was ready for a relationship (And I loved how candid he was with his response)
His response: Yes I am.
Me: So what's the problem. What's stopping you?
Response: It's hard you know. Settling with one person for the rest of your life and that's it. And the thought of so many other beautiful women out there.
I chose this particular response because most of the other responses I received were quite similar to this but just phrased differently.
I think some guys are actually scared of relationships or should I say committing in a relationship but they would rather not admit to it. Not entirely sure why.
'Baby boy' is now an umbrella 'phrase' being used by some for deterrence. Some use it to cover up their fear of settling down, some to justify care-free and reckless living, some to follow trend, some just for the plain fun of it believe it or not.
Some of you need to realize you are NOT going to live that 'baby boy' lifestyle forever. Unless you like the idea of living alone in your big mansion.
While you are living that 'baby boy' lifestyle in your youth (not that I'm advocating this way of living), don't forget to graft. Lay that foundation for your future and don't get carried away with the thought of having so many girls at your disposal with no ties included because the truth is some are actually out to destroy you and distract you from your future goals.
The reason why the first few paragraphs were mainly directed to the guys is because in comparison to ladies the male species are not wired to be 'in touch' with their emotion most of the time as it is deemed a sign of weakness/vulnerability. It takes them longer to get to this 'place' as opposed to females. They are seen to be 'problem solvers', wired to be logical. Any sign of 'being soft/emotional' can sometimes be perceived as weakness either by them or by their peer groups.
Example:
If a male gets an injury- as painful as it may be they are to suck it up and deal with it 'like a man'
Females now- common scratch and some of us won't let everyone hear the end of it.
Another classic example (based on a typical response):
How was your day?
Male: Yeah it was good.
Female: It was great. Ahh this girl at work did this blah de blah.....(you get my drift)
That being said you still have some males that are comfortable with expressing their emotions.
Some guys are not ready for relationships for different reasons. So ladies if a guy tells you he is not ready for a relationship, take his word for it. Literally!
If you really want him and decide you want to 'wait' then that's your choice but if you want to try and coerce him and see if he would change, it's going to be like plucking a fruit that is unripe. You only get met with a sour taste.
Honestly readiness in a relationship is not dependent on any factor but the individual themselves. If the mind is not ready then it is not ready. Relationships requires a lot of work so if you are not ready mentally and able to put in the work needed, it would be like squeezing water out of a rock.
Majority of things in life requires patience, so if you're trying to grow something be patient and wait for it to blossom and grow into something that you will enjoy in the long run and give you peace of mind. Don't force anything. And fellas don't lead a girl on if you have no intention of following through. Some ladies get easily attached you'd be shocked.
Although one thing I feel guys fail to realise is that girls are placed in a more awkward position when it comes to settling down and commitment. Guys can decide to get married even at age 40(if they so wish) but a woman dare not try this. Due to body-clock and all and aspects of having kids. Don't get me wrong guys equally get pressured too but it's still bearable. There's more pressure placed on females regarding the issue of settling down. I recently turned 24 and I can personally testify to getting bombarded left-right-centre with questions of marriage. But I'm not phased (yet lol).
Due to this some females tend to apply this pressure on their interest or someone they are seeing subconsciously and in return scaring the guy off even if they didn't mean to.
If someone has shown interest in you and vice versa but they are unable to commit to you or be in a relationship due to their sole focus being allocated to work or some other commitment, try your best to support them (if you're patient enough) while building your own dreams too. They are working hard to secure their future as should you. But NEVER neglect your dreams or your own needs while trying to put someone else's first. It doesn't work that way.
Side-note: Your interest in someone needs to be beyond physical and based on substance. Otherwise you got a house built on sand.
I know the concept of committing to one person may sound scary for some but the truth is if they are the right person for you, all that doubt will soon become nothing but a blur. It's just a matter of time and being ready.
Also bearing in mind that dream chasing IS a self-journey and could be very long and draining which is why sometimes we could do with a hand. A trusted hand and someone to remind you why you can't give up and help you keep going when you have off days. Self motivation can only do so much at some point.
On that note I leave you with this. Safe living. Self-preservation are words to always have at the back of your mind. And one of my motto is 'Graft Now, Enjoy Later'.
Hope I've still got your attention ^_^ :)
Signed,
B x
Signed,
B x
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