Valentine's Special xo

Hello lovelies ^_^.

Here we have a well known topic that is far too familiar to some of us and it's been on my mind for a while and the opportunity has now presented itself. It's the month of love :)

Sooooo Saint Valentines Day soon woo-hoo. I'm actually excited about it (yes I'm single) but still excited. I'm allowed no?
Why you ask? Well from my understanding it's all about love, not necessarily romantic love and I can definitely say I'm loved by some amazing souls and I love them back in return and that makes me happy. Oh don't get me wrong it would be nice to also have a significant other but I'm certainly not in a rush. In due time or maybe it's sooner than you think hmmmm (who knows) *winks*.

I could go into describing what love is but honestly I don't think it can be defined simply because everyone has their own way of feeling it and expressing it. One thing I ultimately know is that nothing is greater than God's love. Now I'm aware things are starting to take a different turn but stay with me.

Honestly I wonder to myself sometimes how do married couples keep their marriage afloat after all the years they've been together and it dawns on me they centre their marriage around the love of Christ. Because for sure they will have times they would want to pull each other's hair out, have a huge disagreement but they still bounce back. Romantic love is just not enough to keep the balance going.
Generally speaking a few of the younger couples in the current generation seem to have their focus based solely on the physical and want a 'microwaveable' (quick) relationship, aspiring towards goals set by others. That notion is oh so flawed, because once you strip the surface you'll often find there is no substance to stand on. And that is how things crumble in the first place.
Without going off tangent let me try and break this down into mini segments in my own words in reference to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8:

1. Love is kind and not self-seeking. Don't just do nice things because of what the other person can do for you in return. It does not work like that. Loving someone means their needs now becomes yours. You have to be selfless because it is no longer just about you, you are a unit; an entity as opposed to two single individuals. Your actions are no longer autonomous. This can also be applied to friendships as well as families.  Nice gestures should not be done to seek for praise, it should come from a honest and kind heart. Be affable.

2. Love is not jealous. I've heard people say they love a jealous partner; from my point of view I'm not a big fan of jealous partners simply just because it screams insecurity to me. You can try and justify it by saying isn't God also jealous?. But if we refer back to that text it states he is jealous for us with a 'godly jealousy' not the unhealthy kind. Personally I am not a jealous person because I think it's just draining and time wasting and just echoes the absence of trust. You can't love someone you do not trust. As long as your other half is checking in/on you when need be and not making you worry about them what else do you need to worry about. You're just creating unnecessary headache for yourself. Recipe for disaster!!!

3. Love is not proud and does not boast. As humans we naturally have an ego-complex. It is nice to have a sense of pride yes, but don't let it drive you. Don't prove too hard to be a higher being or that you're better than your partner so they always have to do your bidding or that the world should revolve around you. Pride is accompanied by a sister and we call her stubbornness. A proud person never wants to admit they're in the wrong and think they're always right or that their actions are justified. Guess what we can't always be right as long as you're human, we are prone to making mistakes. Deal with it. Arguments are inevitable but some can most definitely be avoided because if you dig deep and analyse the root of the problem you may find there was never a problem to begin with other than one person being too stubborn to listen. Love does not intimidate.
That saying 'pride goes before a fall' is very appropriate. Because sometimes pride makes you miss out on some important things in life. Let your pride evanesce before it destroys you and everything good around you.

4. Love is not easily angered or keep record of wrongs. If you have been offended and it upsets you make it known to the party involved. No point keeping it in. If you're bottling things up it's only going to affect you and eventually when you reach your breaking point you end up taking it out on people around you and your anger is now directed towards people that don't even have an idea what got you upset in the first place. Always communicate and so much emphasis is placed on this because it changes things. Communication is key. If someone has wronged you, don't start a tab keeping count and then bringing it up at a later date "remember when you did so so so....". Ermm for all you know they may not actually remember(yes this is sometimes the case) because they might have other things they're dealing with and in turn you get even more upset. So when there is an issue deal with it right there and then - "Don't let the sun go down on your anger". Stop blathering and get your points across in a clear and precise manner and in a loving way. Don't be too acerbic with your words too.

5. Love does not dishonor others and always protects. Someone that loves you will always have your best interest at heart. If they see you doing wrong they will call you to order and make you see the error of your ways. Correcting you in love and with love.
Dishonor can be achieved in so many ways but I'll only touch lightly on a few common ones. Someone that loves you will help in guarding your purity/innocence. They won't try and put you in a position that would make you face temptation. They will stand up for you when your integrity is being questioned and protect your dignity. They won't join in with slandering you or prove to be disingenuous and they will help you abdicate your bad habits.

6. Love hopes and perseveres and is patient. Patience is truly a virtue.
In loving someone, you actually believe in their hopes and dreams. You want to help take them a step closer to their goals. You are aware of the sacrifices you need to make occasionally. You want to be a support system for them and always hoping for the best on their behalf. When they've reached a plateau and want to give up, you be their voice of reason, give them that extra push and remind them why they need to keep going. When there are signs of distress between you and them you don't bail and walk out just because..
When someone you love is going through a hard time, you don't just leave them to hang out dry and deal with their issue alone. You exercise patience and show empathy. And vice versa you are comfortable enough to open up to them when you are feeling down. You also respect their space occasionally when they need it.


There's actually more to love than the physical e.g. attraction. Attraction plays a part too but that shouldn't be all there is to it. You should be able to connect with your partner on a mental, emotional and spiritual level. You want to grow with them on every level.
Loving someone makes you open to vulnerability. It's just how it works. Basically you are saying 'hi this is me including my good, bad and ugly, I am trusting you so please don't hurt me'.
You've been intrinsically designed to invest yourself in others (relationships/friendships....). Called to serve and you can't serve without love in your heart towards others.

After all is said and done, bottom line is there is no true love without God.  No God, No Love. Know God, Know Love.
God's love is the purest kind of love. Unchanging, selfless, sacrificial, and never ending. Aim to love others the way God loves you and it will definitely change the dynamics of your friendship/relationship (s). The love that endures all, bears all. Be driven by the force within you which should be the love of Christ.

"We accept the love we think we deserve". Well when you experience God's love you wouldn't really want to settle for anything less from any Jessica, Lola, Jermaine and Tunde or give anything less because you have a standard set by God to go by.

Don't forget to also love yourself. And with that being said hope you all have a Happy Valentines Day because I know I will :)

Show Love. Spread Love

Signed B xoxo